Looking back 2009

I write this kind of entry on the last day of every year to look back what happened in each of the year, but I have much fewer things happening to me in the year 2009 than in any other year for my life. I feel as if only a few days had passed since I wrote this year’s first entry on the first day of this year. Although I make it a rule to list up the keywords of the year on every year-end day, I have not so much keywords for this year, except for the change of office in August and the purchase of MacBook Pro in October. Anyway, all what I think this year is “time flies like an arrow.”
At the same time, I can’t help thinking how old I’ve grown, not only mentally but physically, being in the latter half of my thirties. Every time I look at my face in the mirror these days I find it looks like that of a middle-aged man, with the skin drier and rougher than I used to be.
As being older year by year, I seem to be less attractive to ladies on the street or at office or online than ever. I could talk frankly to girls and please them without hesitation when I was younger, or until the former half of my thirties, but these days they show very cautious attitude to me when I try to talk to them. More than that, they sometimes glare at me with very offensive eyes when they see me on the street or on the train, though I did nothing bad to them. Perhaps I should admit that my day is already over and I’m no longer welcomed.
What I need to do for 2010 would be to explore how to regain my attractiveness to ladies as much as I used to be; that is, how to be a REAL gentleman even if I turn older and look staler. It would be important to increase my internal attractiveness, not relying on my look. I will consider what I have to do for this.


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