2009年を振り返って

毎年、年末最後の日になるとその年のキーワードを振り返るんですが、今年はほとんどキーワードらしいことがありません。強いていえば「職場異動」(8月)と「MacBook Pro購入」(10月)ぐらいでしょうか。去年の年末から数日しかたってないように思えるほどあっという間に今年の年末を迎えてしまいました。まさに「光陰矢の如し」といったところでしょう。
30代後半になって、「オッサンになったなあ」と感じます。鏡で自分の顔を見ると数年前より老けているのが一目でわかります。年とともにオッサンらしくなり、それとともに女性からもだんだん相手にされなくなっていっているのがわかります。若い頃は、というより30代前半までは、女性と気軽にお話できたほうなんですが、今は彼女らのほうが警戒してくるようになり、今じゃ電車の中で女性と目が合っただけでガン見される始末。もう「モテ期」(なんてものがあったかは疑問ですが)は終わりなんだなあと認めざるを得ないのかも。
2010年は、見た目に頼らない、内面からの魅力を増やし、オッサンになっても魅力的でいられるためにはどうすべきかを考えるのが課題かもしれません。

Continue reading “2009年を振り返って”

Looking back 2009

I write this kind of entry on the last day of every year to look back what happened in each of the year, but I have much fewer things happening to me in the year 2009 than in any other year for my life. I feel as if only a few days had passed since I wrote this year’s first entry on the first day of this year. Although I make it a rule to list up the keywords of the year on every year-end day, I have not so much keywords for this year, except for the change of office in August and the purchase of MacBook Pro in October. Anyway, all what I think this year is “time flies like an arrow.”
At the same time, I can’t help thinking how old I’ve grown, not only mentally but physically, being in the latter half of my thirties. Every time I look at my face in the mirror these days I find it looks like that of a middle-aged man, with the skin drier and rougher than I used to be.
As being older year by year, I seem to be less attractive to ladies on the street or at office or online than ever. I could talk frankly to girls and please them without hesitation when I was younger, or until the former half of my thirties, but these days they show very cautious attitude to me when I try to talk to them. More than that, they sometimes glare at me with very offensive eyes when they see me on the street or on the train, though I did nothing bad to them. Perhaps I should admit that my day is already over and I’m no longer welcomed.
What I need to do for 2010 would be to explore how to regain my attractiveness to ladies as much as I used to be; that is, how to be a REAL gentleman even if I turn older and look staler. It would be important to increase my internal attractiveness, not relying on my look. I will consider what I have to do for this.